I’m not even going to attempt to do my little apology bit and talk about how this blog is “a labor of love and not a day goes by where I don’t feel bad for not posting about the ups and downs of the city gal’s love or even lack there of”. I’ll just say it: I’m busy as shit, ladies. I am. I don’t want to toot my own horn but I honestly think I am Wonder Woman sometimes. I have more classes than usual, a production soon to open, an extremely active campus life, and am now a commuter- oh, and did I mention that I sleep now? Because, I do. I’ve also found time to read a book in the last week. It’s bizarre.
That being said, I don’t think about this blog daily- but I do think of it. Often on the train or rushing through the Loop I will think of my next post but never actually sit and write it, which is why I’m grateful for nights like this. It is Sunday night, 10pm and I should be doing homework but the internet is down, no one is home and so I’m going to do my ‘single things’ like dance to Beyonce while I hang up my trench (if you haven’t watched the videos to Countdown and Love on Top- you’re missing out, so stop reading for a moment and youtube it), eat mini chocolate chips from the pantry, sit in the dark while listening to Belle and Sebastian, and type away on a document. The perfect way to commit some time to this much neglected outlet.
Where should I even start? So much and yet so very little has happened since the last time I wrote. I guess in terms of our content here nothing much has happened. I’ve been thinking a great deal about relationships and our connection to one another. I was in rehearsal and began speaking with a group of peers about vivid dreams and one girl added how those vivid and reoccurring dreams are sometimes justified as the re-emerging of our past lives. I’m not religious, more spiritual and don’t have any concrete beliefs on the afterlife but I will say life after death intrigues me. This girl continued on to tell me how her mother has often dragged her to several conferences and book readings on the subject. According to this research the individuals we come into contact with are usually those individuals that we had a connection, either positive or negative, with in the past. The girl I was talking to continued to note examples she had seen in these conferences: your mother could have been your husband in a past life- your best friend a former enemy you must rectify your turmoil with. Additionally, she said she once read about how this particular therapist reunited two patients- both single and seeking therapy to handle their discontent- who he believed to have been soul mates separated in a past life. Naturally, I have questions, so many questions.
Who are these individuals that after one look, one conversation, we see something in? Are they “the one that got away” in a past life? Is there a chance that my unrequited love and I might share our mutual love non-profits, skiing, Birkenstocks, assorted cheeses and coffee curled up by a fire one day in a different lifetime?
When does our soul go to rest? Do we have to have mastered a series of achievements? Is having a great love, one for the books a requirement?
I know this sounds absolutely ludicrous but I can’t deny that I’ve been thinking about it non-stop for the past two days. I really want some sort of answers despite knowing in my core that love doesn’t always have answers- in fact, I don’t know if it ever does.
That’s all for now as there is nothing I love more than sleeping during a thunderstorm.