Just a question. A simple question. A question I’m still struggling to answer.
"How did you meet?"
In the (near) 7 months since I’ve met the boy, he’s been around for long enough to have earned a pseudonym so we’ll call him Zach from here on out, this question has been asked numerous times. Why is it that in all of my past relationships I cannot recall having to answer this question? Ever.
There is a brief, simple answer. One that isn’t technically a lie as it does answer where/how we actually physically met, but eventually I’ll have to cop to the official story. If Zach and I were a passing thing, nothing to be serious about, a farce, I could pass with the generic “at a party” or “at a bar” response that has become expected of my age group. However, instead I feel guilty for the altered-fib andembarrassed, ashamed, apprehensive(?) about the absolute truth.
Does every other online-dating-success-story-couple have this same weight hanging over them?
I’m assuming it isn’t entirely easy for any of us to admit to meeting on the interwebs, but I can’t help but feel that I am struggling more than others.
Perhaps because neither Zach nor myself were incredibly serious about the entire endeavor. He, allegedly, only joined because of reputation on another website he frequents and the disdain for “meeting at a bar,” and, well, you all know my story.
So shame isn’t exactly the right word. I can’t, in good faith, be ashamed of anything that led to Zach and my introduction no matter how out-of-character and absurd. Also, I in no way am judgmental of other couples who have met on OkCupid, E-Harmony, or other online dating sites. I know a LOT of people who have had success in that area.
The issue is, and I’m sure will remain, that I am probably the last person anyone I know would expect to create an account. As I documented throughout the project: I feel fairly confident talking to anyone, I like going out and meeting people, and I sincerely had no intention of dating or even fooling around with anyone this year…I had better things to do. Thus, the times I have told the full story (and I have told it, more times than I can count on my two hands) the story has become this unnecessarily long saga due to the preamble setting up how the hell I wound up leading on the entire internet.
I wish I was confident enough to say “we met online” or even “we kinda met online, and then at…”
Maybe someday I will be.
What bothers me the most is that my mother doesn’t know, and I know his does, as does his father, and his friends, etc.
Why does this question plague me? And why can’t I cure it with a straight-forward answer?
I prefer our story to the standard drunken pick up at a bar.
Thanks for listening,